What can one say when you raid three nights a week (WoW), played D&D since sixth grade (thank you Dad for being such a great DM BTW … not every girl gets to say that) and love science fiction and fantasy? You’re a gamer. Now toss in the whole Catholic homeschool mom to six and such and it seems sort of incongruous. It isn’t but it seems that way. Well I have been delighted to find From The Shattered Drum a fun blog that I have taken a fancy to. Keith Strohm — Musings of a Catholic SF/Fantasy Writer. Check him out if you have a second; it’s fun stuff.
Author: darcee
Just one more Catholic wife and mother on the internet, blogging about homeschooling, living the faith and all that sort of thing.
loving with your heart wide open
I read a book not long ago entitled “Who Moved My Cheese?” which contained a rather obvious set of little wisdom comments to help people see where they are in their lives and where they should be moving. I agree with much of it and disagree with some of it, but one part really sang for me. The question was “What would I do if I wasn’t afraid?” It has occurred to me many times that fear keeps us from really living they way we should, the way God made us to live. Faith is what should kill fear. What do we have to fear really? If the Lord is with us and fear is ridicules for there is nothing to fear living in the palm of God’s hand.
But we are all creatures of the fall. We all have our doubts and sins that pull us away from the perfect confidence that we should have in God. In our personal relationships we have to face the double jeopardy of not only dealing with our own fallen nature, but in dealing with the fallen nature of the other person. We are going to be hurt, so we put up our defenses and attempt to protect ourselves in the process we close off parts of ourselves and deny letting love touch certain things within us. We don’t share completely, we can’t give ourselves entirely and we can’t accept love unconditionally.
But how would it all change if we weren’t afraid? What if we were to open our hearts completely?
Real, sacrificial love is capable of loving completely. The marriage relationship is especially created for the idea of loving with a heart completely open. The 31 Proverb says: “When one finds a worthy wife, her value is far beyond pearls. Her husband, entrusting his heart to her, has an unfailing prize. She brings him good, and not evil, all the days of her life.” What a wonderful thing to be able to entrust not just his household and his worldly goods but his heart to his wife. The reward for this trust an unfailing prize. How would we love if we weren’t afraid?
Modesty in dress
Over at Woman Honor thyself if a nice post called WomaN: Cover Thyself.
I have talked about modesty here before, but there are two nice quotes that I would like to address today:
- Modesty, historically granted women the right to ?withhold themselves? from men who had dishonorable intentions. And yes, using a woman for sex without any form of commitment was viewed as ignoble and sleazy by both men and women.
When I was younger I was taught that dressing modestly served not only to honor yourself, but was a kindness for those men around you who were trying to be their better selves. How difficult it is for a young man to NOT stare at that flesh proudly on display at the pool, the school and the shopping mall. No matter how much he might want to respect a girl or know her from the neck up it is tricky when she is exposing so much from the neck down.
There is such a hypocrisy to the modern idea of dressing like a street walker while expecting people (men) to respect you for your skills, talents and intellectual ability.
Nothing frightens me more then sending my children out into a world where casual sex is more and more the norm. I shudder when I hear other parents talk about how they want their children (daughters) to go out and experience life, they don’t want them to wait for marriage to have sex, they want them to be out there “experiencing” life (sex) before they settle down. I actually heard a woman I generally respect say “I would be sad for my daughter if she didn’t get to experience a range of different sexual experiences before she settles down.”
Historically women might have been “withholding” parts of themselves. But in the wider culture out there it seems like there is no longer considered a general goodness to virginity or chastity. These are thing reserved to the morally repressive fringe. Not the “sex-positive” open minded folks out there.
Modesty may not sell.
But that all depends how much of your soul is up for grabs, now doesn?t it.
Sad but true. Modesty doesn’t sell… but is it supposed to? Some things shouldn’t be for sale. Physical appearance is a veneer to the soul. The quality of the core can not be ascertained from inspecting just the outer layer. But modesty has within it a dignity. A care of self and concern for others.
Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World
I really love this title. I haven’t read the book yet, but I will soon. As soon as I do I will give you a review, is Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World a solid Catholic book, is it Christian and find for the Catholic reader or is it problematic? For now if you would like to order the book you can do so here:
Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World: Finding Intimacy With God in the Busyness of Life (Revised Edition with New Bible Study)
I would love to be able to discuss this book with my reader. 🙂
Back to School Shopping
Yesterday while picking up a few groceries I happened to notice that hidden behind the fireworks, red, white and blue napkins, plastic tablecloths and discounted gas grills was a full display of pencils, notebooks and bottles of Elmer’s glue all awaiting eager back to school shoppers. There was in my heart about 30 seconds of regret that my children will not soon be picking up their “back to school” supply list. They won’t be getting a wardrobe of new clothes, and a backpack. There will be no evening with them carefully putting their names on their pencil boxes and crayons. (though many classrooms have switched to a “community property” rule when it comes to school supplies)… and with that my entire regret that we switched to homeschooling our children passed.
Deciding to homeschool was a big step for us. We are staring at the start of our second year homeschooling and I am looking at it with a mix of excitement and the normal stress that accompanies any large endeavor. And homeschooling is in ways a large endeavor. It takes time, both planning and implementing. There are moments when the kids just do not want to do their studies and times where other pressing things get in the way. But overall I know this is the best solution for our family
One thing that strikes me as rather amusing at the moment is how homeschooling is viewed by so much of the world. Now, I will grant that having six children makes us rather insane looking to the common populace, then add the homeschooling thing on top of that and people you meet become quite convinced that you are completely insane without uttering another word. Until you walk into the local Catholic homeschool group then we are all nuts together.
Housework as contemplation. Housekeeping as service.
I think this could be said of and work, especially physical work, but I want to dwell on housekeeping because that is my thing at the moment.
Oro et Laboro
Recently at the Anchoress I read: “If you leave off the radio/stereo/television/phone, housework is contemplative work; it allows you to think about things, argue in your head and give your gut a good hearing. I need that.”
I think we all need that from time to time. There is something about doing physical labor that frees the mind for contemplation. When our hands are engaged and our mind is not we enter into a state of active thoughtfulness. I am sure there is a biological component at work. The body moving encouraging deeper breathing, moving the limbs, stimulating the heart and the blood flow – certainly it all leads to a more active mental state. But when the mind in not engaged in the work itself then we can think of other things more deeply and more clearly.
To often when I am in this state I allow my mind to wonder into self-critical and unpleasant things. This isn’t conducive to doing housework in a pleasant way. This is an area where I need to work.
A spirit of service takes a mundane task and elevates it to something noble. A labor of love most often means doing something because you love it, but it can also mean doing something because you love the one you are working for.
Housekeeping becomes a service when you keep in mind that you are working for your family. A pleasant home to come to at the end of the day for your husband. An appealing place to play and learn for your children. Somewhere that guests are welcome. Where you can relax and not worry that your part of the world is in disarray. A well ordered home becomes more naturally a place of prayer.
Summer time and the living is easy
So I have been very lazy writing in this blog. I will be posting more in the next couple weeks. Right now we are just having fun.
This is cool
“Elvis style nuns”
So you might remember vaguely reading something where I reference a horrible movie “Change of Habit”
Gerald Augustinus, at The Cafeteria is Closed found this for us all…. If it wasn’t so painfully aweful I would laugh.
Nuns on MTV
This delights me to no end. Young Nuns Getting Into The Habit . Check it out. It is very positive.
Simply Catholic 