rants

Another of those moments.

You know, those “not my finest moments” moments?   I had one of those this morning.

swordswoman
poke poke... with a grin and all

My ex called at 8:23 am.  Which seemed sort of early to me, but forgivably early. It was not like he woke me up or even interrupted breakfast.  He wanted to know if I could send him pictures of the girls.  He has asked for them before and I keep forgetting to send them, but there was something more of an urgency this time.  When pressed he admitted to them actually not being for him, but his brother’s wife is putting together some sort of art project for his mother and wants to have pictures of her grandchildren.  The girls. 

This just set me off into all sorts of internal conniption fits.  First off the ex’s brother barely tolerated me when I was married to the ex and his wife was alternating rude or kind depending on the rest of the company.  I couldn’t figure her out to save my life.  So the fact that neither one of them has initiated the slightest contact with me or my daughters in the past 13 years is not so much a loss.  The other aspect of this is that my ex-mother-in-law, a dear woman who I am rather fond of, has always been more than loving and kind and a grandmother to ALL my children.  The four younger ones included, but his request was specifically for the girls’ pictures so the “thingiemiggiggy” would have all her grandchildren included?!   So, you don’t contact me in 13 years then out of the blue want my older daughters’ pictures to include in some artwork for Christmas  and this request is going to come to me through the ex? 

I made the ex endure a brief tirade about how his brother or his brother’s wife were more than welcome to email me and ask for my children’s pictures if they wanted them.  Which I seriously doubt they will since they haven’t communicated with me in anyway at all for the past 13 years.   (Did I mention it has been 13 years?)  I told the ex that I could lie and tell him that I would send them and then I would put it off and forget about it, but I was going to be slightly better and just say no.  I also mentioned that considering the circumstances I was highly disinclined to go along with this.  Which I suppose is rather small minded of me.  If I was somewhat more generous I would have sent the pictures and not balked at it.  Therefore it wasn’t my finest moment.   It also puts the ex in the rather uncomfortable position of having to tell his brother (or his sister-in-law) that they won’t get the pictures as he doesn’t have them.  The ex is more or less a “people pleaser”.  He likes it when everyone is happy with him and is highly motivated to do things that will keep people happy.

This line of thinking led me to consider the possibility that the ex’s brother’s wife had contacted the ex to ask for the pictures under the assumption that he would have them. Which leads to all sorts of interesting conjectures about the ex and if he had already agreed to send the pictures he didn’t have and what he will say now.   I don’t know.  It certainly brings out that more prickly part of my nature that likes to poke first and apologize later — maybe.  It might be why I like fencing.  I can hit the target efficiently and mercilessly and not have done anything that my conscience can’t approve of.    I don’t particularly like the fact that I am that particular way with the exe’s family.  There is a lot of baggage there that I am in the pleasant position of being able to mostly ignore but every once in a great while I am side swept by them and my own reactions…. I know I have mentioned that I haven’t heard from these people in 13 years.   Phewy.

Christmas

Snow days and cookie baking

cookies
cookies

Today is another snow day for Ashley so she is making cookies.   So far we have gingerbread going.  They are spicy and rich, dark molasses type.   They are one of my favorite cookies.  Later we will start the candy-cane cookies and maybe get to the teacakes today.  I need to acquire a new cookie press before doing our spritz.  Last we will do the sugar cookies.  But it might take most of the week to get it all done.

Kyle went into work, late, but he still went.  The roads in our neighborhood are glazed with thick ice, but the main roads seemed clear enough.  The house is warm, Christmas music is playing, the air is spicy and as soon as Kyle gets home it will all be good in the world.

Catholic stuff · Fun · Simple Woman's Daybook

The Simple Woman’s Daybook – December 15, 2008

 
The Simple Woman’s Daybook
is hosted by
Peggy at the Simple Woman.
Thank you Peggy.

FOR TODAY : December 15, 2008
We have snow!  We don’t get snow often, but today there is snow on the ground, Ashley is home from school and Kyle is home from work.  Love snow days.

Outside my Window –  There is a blanket of white loveliness.  The sun is shining which makes it all the more beautiful, but dooms the snow.  

I am thinking –   About orthodoxy.  I ran across a random comment this morning about judging what is or isn’t orthodox enough.  I suppose this is one of those items where there is a great deal of contention and personal judgement and more than a little judgmental-ism involved.

From the learning roomsToday is going to have be a rather light day because of how odd it is to have daddy and Ashley home.  The butterflies are starting to come out of their cocoons.  The ants are slowly dieing off.  I have no idea how long the ants should be living, consequentially I have no idea if there is something we are doing wrong.  Research is needed.

I am thankful for-  Snow days (you saw that coming didn’t you).

From the kitchen – We need to brave the weather for bread and milk.

I am wearing – Black pants and a white top..

I am reading – The Five Love Languages. 

I am hoping –  The the roads are clear past our neighborhood, they should be.

I am creating –  I am working on some odds and ends this week.

I am hearing –  The radio.  Christmas songs are playing.

Around the house – The children are being really excited and a little hard to settle into doing what they supposed to do.

One of my favorite things – My slippers, warm toes are nice.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week – Not sure, there is a lot of work I need to get done and I am not any more focused than the children are.

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you – 

Snow day fun

 

Blogs I Know · rants

Speaking the same language

 

Valentine of Milan Mourning her Husband, the Duke of Orléans --Fleury-François Richard
Valentine of Milan Mourning her Husband, the Duke of Orléans --Fleury-François Richard

Years ago, back in my college days,  I was very involved with my campus pro-life group.  We were a very small group on a very liberal campus and most of our members were also Campus Crusade for Christ members.  We would have strategies meetings where we spoke about how to approach our fellow students or how to respond when they approached us.  One girl had diligently prepared a list of Bible verses that she felt would be useful.   I found myself in the odd man out position of having to explain that to most of the people on the campus the “Bible says” argument didn’t make and difference.  In fact it hurt more than helped.  It was throwing pearls before swine and all that.

Yesterday I was reading about the British televised “Right to Die”  documentary depicting a the death of a man, Craig Ewert,  suffering from motor neurone disease who traveled to Switzerland to end his life there.   Switzerland of all places, the place where even plants might have rights, gives the green light to assisting the destruction of human life.  There seems to be some irony there.   Every dandelion is worthy of protection, but our fellow human being can be killed and that is ok.  I watched the short video clip over at HotAir and read the comment associated with the article.  Many of the comments that support assisted suicide ran to the typical “keep your archaic religious beliefs out of my life.”  This was put out pretty much before anyone even started quoting those useful Bible verses.  The anticipation was that there is no argument outside of the Bible that would deny the individual the right to have their doctors or loved ones help them kill themselves.   Much in the same way that the pro-elective-abortion bumper sticker demands: “keep your rosaries off my ovaries”.  Kind of nonsensical when you think about it, but the intention is clear.

When talking about moral issues there is a large group that will immediately turn off when someone starts in with the “God says” lines.   I am certainly not saying that religion or religious thought and expression shouldn’t be included in the public debate, but the reality is that arguments presented from a religious point of view are arguments what will not persuade  people who are not already convinced in God’s sovereignty. In a humanistic and media driven world we have to have arguments that are honest and powerful to counter propaganda like this video. But we need arguements that don’t lean on the Bible for their sense and substance.

Watching the “Right to Die” video I was touch by two things.  The first is that Mr Ewert’s choices were limited by fear:   “If I go through with it, I have death,”  Mr. Ewert said. “If I don’t go through with it, my choice is essentially to suffer and to inflict suffering on my family, and then die.   Possibly in a way that is considerably more stressful and painful than this way.”  The other thing that got to me was that Mr Ewert’s statement seemed to hold a great deal of personal guilt in it.  He was concerned not just about his own death, but on the suffering he would cause his family.  While these are completely understandable fears and concerns as a society we should all look at them as more horrific than the disease Mr. Ewert suffered from. 

 Mr Ewert and his wife look like nice loving people.  The kind that you would be happy to see move in next door.  Mrs Ewert is certainly not a monster trying to rid herself of a burdensome invalid.  Mr Ewert expresses the same concerns most of us have when looking at ageing or disease only with a more immediate prospect of the most unpleasant case.  You have to feel for them as they say goodbye in the little, comfortable flat with the sunny windows and beautiful music as the scene slowly fades to black and you hear the Dignitas operative whispered “He’s gone” and his wife’s  “He’s gone” in response. 

In contrast the terminal care doctor is shown reviewing the very moving video in a dark suit and a dark room complete with red back lighting.  A very ominous view with the Dr being almost dismissive in his assertion that Mr Ewert needent have gone through with taking his own life.  This brief nod to the anti-euthanasia sentiment is quickly followed by scenes (presumably) from Mr Ewert’s memorial while the voice over speaks about the legal tangles that could follow British citizens home if they accompany loved ones to that peaceful little death apartment in Switzerland.

There is something very broken about our society.  I really worry that “nice” videos of people peacefully drifting off to sleep while listening to their favorite music masks a very real horror.  Social acceptance of assisted suicide opens up a Pandora’s box of “what ifs”.  The way countries like Switzerland have been addressing these issues is less than comforting but when the public is exposed to these “soft core snuff films” the acceptance will rise.  But when faced with the real horrors of disease and relatively pleasant pictures the propagandists of the media present about euthanasia it is going to be an up hill battle with the wells of faith and moral ethics already having been poisoned. 

There are good arguments that what changed in our society is the way we view life.  We need to throw off the utilitarian view and love life more fully.   We need to build a culture of life.  That oft stated Catholic phrase has real meaning especially in the “hard cases”.  When life is loved fully death need no be feared, and being a “burden” or incapacitated shouldn’t even come into play.  The fear that drove Mr Ewert to death should be viewed as nothing less than a tragedy.  We need to embrace a new ethic, one which truly honors the inalienable right to life.

Homemaking · Simple Woman's Daybook · Simplicity

The Simple Woman’s Daybook – December 8, 2008

 
The Simple Woman’s Daybook
is hosted by
Peggy at the Simple Woman.
Thank you Peggy.

 FOR TODAY : December 8, 2008
Today is cold and cloudy.  There are some breaks in the clouds with blue sky peeking through. It is the second week of Advent and the Feast of the Immaculate Conception.

 Outside my Window –  It almost feels frosty.  The greyness of the morning and the wet chill lend the air the feel of frost even when there is none.  

I am thinking –   We will put up our lights this week.  The tree is up but bare.

From the learning roomsWe have been working on Christopher’s Badge for scouts.   It has been an interesting project.

I am thankful for-  My full spectrum light.

From the kitchen – The sourdough starter is ready.  Yummy bread tonight!

I am wearing – My grunngies.

I am reading – The Five Love Languages. 

I am hoping –  That I figure out what to do with the dog.   Part of me says she should go to the vet, part of me says she hates the vet so badly that it isn’t worth the trip.  I also dread finding out that she really needs some horribly awful expensive treatment.  We just can’t/won’t do that.  Which in some sense makes me feel badly, but then I really question some of what is done in the vetinary medicine feild.  (whole other post there)

I am creating –  Nothing!  Just getting ready for Christmas and doing the Advent things.

I am hearing –  Bounder barking to come back in.

Around the house – The children are getting their morning chores done.

One of my favorite things – Coffee.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week – Nothing too exciting.  Scouts is tomorrow, Ballet and CCD today, . 

Here is a picture thought I am sharing with you – 

kidsnwreath
The children with the Advent wreath

 

Blogs I Know · My world

Portland is a little weird.

I know that goes without saying but to think that this billboard would be controversial considering the season….

God is with us
God is with us

H/T to both Happy Catholic and The Curt Jester

Now, this happens to also be a time where a new abortion mill is going up a handful of blocks from my parish (where the sign originally was) and just to our north Washington State voted last month on assisted suicide.  So I can see where there can be some “politics” viewed there.  But this is first and foremost a religious statement.  The fact that the incarnation can be viewed politically at all is simply evidence of how entrenched and hostile the culture of death is.  When a pregnant Mary, full of life, is seen as a statement against the political status quo the political status quo is pretty dismal.  I suspect an ultrasound image of a baby in utero would have been viewed similarly.
You can read the Oregon Live story here.  I agree with Julie at Happy Catholic.  This quote is sort of weird:
“Images of an obviously pregnant Mary are rare, said Jane Kristof, professor emeritus of art history at Portland State University.

“Generally, it was considered undignified,” she said. “The same is true of Mary nursing.” Artists instead rendered Mary gesturing toward her stomach to suggest that she was pregnant, Kristof said. “

The Virgin round with child is a standard in medieval and renaissance art.  Pregnancy in the plague years especially was viewed as highly beautiful.  Do  quick search on the Madonna of the good milk or the Virgin Mother and you will have more images of breast feeding and pregnant Marys than you can shake a stick at.  Now maybe Ms Kristof is talking about modern art… or maybe she is stuck in some weird alternate universe that hates pregnant woman… but I am not seeing the undignified thing she is thinking she sees.   But then again this IS Portland we are talking about and as the oft seen bumper stickers reminds us — we keep it weird.