Blogs I Know · Fun

Joy and laughter

The world is so full of gloomy people who take themselves too serriously.  Happy Catholic has a link to a blog post on the Ironic Catholic that makes me both smile and think.

Too often Catholics, Christians, people with any moral standards are seen a humorless, sticks-in-the-mud that have no pleasure in anything other than pointing fingers at other people and tutting in between their bouts of hand-ringing and tsking.  No… not at all.  Catholics, Christians and people with high moral standards can be the funniest and most legitimately fun people to be around.  We laugh, we love and we do so in a way that isn’t dependant on putting others down to make the point.

When I was in college there was a bit of burhaha about humor, jokes and “laughter”.  Some ignoramus with a PhD had suppose that all humor, yes all, was at the expense of someone else.  That all laughter was in essence a put-down.  This always seemed so very wrong to me… after all babies laugh at silly things and babies make people laugh.  No put down, no laughing at other’s expense just joy.  And the other half of this quite simply… we laugh at each other.  It is natural.  It is like the quote from Jane Austin’s Pride and Prejudice : ?For what do we live, but to make sport for our neighbors, and laugh at them in our turn?”.  We all have our turn.  So laugh at me when I fall, but offer me a hand up and do not take offense when I laugh at you on occasion… for I am really only laughing at your humanity in which I share. 

I have to share yet another funny thing I read via the anchoress.     Parents explain the Birds and the Bees to their son.  I haven’t laughed so hard in a long long time.

Blogs I Know · Faith in Action · My world

Moms for Modesty

If you stumble into this older article please check out my “Heads up” update.

It seems that Moms for Modesty has sort of gone by the way-side.  Kind of a sad thing as it was a memorable little grassroots action that crossed a lot of boundaries.    Even though the founder wasn’t Catholic I know a lot of Catholic mom’s who really supported the work of making it known that as mothers we value modesty for our children, especially our daughters.

Here is the Mom’s for Modesty Mission Statement:

Moms for Modesty Mission Statement

As a Mom for Modesty I believe in common-sense modesty for girls and young women.

I believe in refraining from sexualizing our girls and young women.

I believe that it is unwise and unfair to taunt boys and young men by permitting my daughter(s) to dress in an immodest manner.

I believe that true beauty comes from within and I strive to teach my daughter(s) this truth.

I will loyally shop at retailers that provide girls’ and young women?s clothing that is modest, affordable and stylish.

But Everyday Mommy seems to be gone replaced by Everyday Design.  I wish Jules well in her new endeavor.

I found something in passing that really made me laugh, Amy Caroline, over at Knit Together in Love said, “Now I am off to church… Let’s hope I have the guts to wear my mantilla!”.  This is SO me.  I have been tumbling over the whole idea of covering my head at mass for over two years (yes, I know that is an obnoxiously long time to be dwelling on something) … needless to say I really identify with Amy in this.  It takes guts to take this on because it is such a statement.  It is much more a statement then putting a pro-life bumper sticker on your car or having a big crucifix dangling from your neck.  This is something that you are saying about yourself.  It is a statement that you are in some sense a Holy thing.  And that is a frightening  — how do you do that without being self conscious?  I haven’t figured it out yet.  I just don’t have the guts yet to say… “Yeah, I am sacred”!

Blogs I Know · Caritas · Faith in Action

New Habits


I am so happy to see the Anchoress blogging again after her recent health issues slowed her down a bit.  Today we have one of my favorite topics: Religious communities growing.   One of the most beautiful things in the world. 

You can see the communities she links to here: A flourishing of novices, Part I

I suppose like many women not blessed with a call to religious life I find myself somewhat envious at times of those who are so called.   But no matter the reason I love seeing religious communities grow.  It gives me hope that our faith will survive.  

The Anchoress also links to Gerald Augustinus at The Cafeteria Is Closed.  Mr Augustinus has a rather interesting observation that the  Sisters who have kept their habits are growing in numbers while those who switched to modern dress in the sixties and seventies are going the way of the dinosaur.  Fair enough.  This isn’t by any means a unique observation;  I have heard it dozens of times.  — more on that in a minute.

Right now I want to rant for a moment.  There is one little thing that torques me about the site and the discussion there and it isn’t something that I am laying at Mr Augustinus’s feet alone, but it is the main reason that, while I read The Cafeteria Is Closed almost daily, I rarely link to it.   It is the appalling lack of charity and at times even a lack common decency on the part of the commentors especially that just make me shudder.  Yes, I am unfairly picking on this one site at the moment there are many others that are far far worse.  I know that Gerald actually did a good deal a few months ago shutting down some of the more outlandish comments and I applaud the effort… but.     (check here to see the post I am referencing)  I was not really surprised that two pictures were cherry picked to show happy, young smiling nuns in habits and a rather not so happy,  unfortunate picture of a aging nun sans habit at a conference for ((double shudder)) women’s ordination.   Some of the comments that followed were predictable and rather ugly — but it still floored me — what is the point of that?

It really astounds me how often people’s appearance is dragged out when others disagree with their thoughts.  And it is just sad folks  it is really really sad.  First off it is sad because it is demeaning to the creation of God.  We are all in our beauties and uglies His first and foremost with our imperfections intact — we are His as he made us.   To go off on the lack of youth or beauty in the face of a person based on a picture or two is just wrong.  It is poking at the veneer. 

 Second it muddies our real complaint.  By all means roast the heretic for their heresies.  Those of us stepping into middle age have a right to be good and ticked-off at what the baby-boomers handed us.  We have a reason to be angry at a church that taught us the whole “feel good Jesus” with no mention of sin or hell.  We should be none too pleased about our churches being built to look like theaters and all those felt banners, horribly insipid music, a culture that tells us it is a matter of conscious to kill unborn children and that sex is play and poisoning our bodies with decades of hormonal birth control is a good thing.  Yes BE PISSED!  There is a LOT to be pissed about…. but don’t stoop to tossing mud about appearances.  We traditional Catholics should be above that sort of thing.  Leave it to the little children who don’t know better.  

This whole, drag the ugly, aging political woman out and talk about how old and ugly and angry she looks is getting old.  I don’t care if it is Hilary Clinton or Sr Chittister or Susan Sarandon to talk first about the appearance of someone as though that was as important as their message is juvenile.   This goes back to why I normally don’t blog about politics.  The tendency to dehumanize the opponent is too common.  And yes talking about someone’s cankles or wrinkles is just that — a sniggering attempt at mocking a lump of flesh.  If your argument is strong enough you never have a reason to mention the opposition’s age, color, nationality, language, gender or beauty.   A good argument will stand on its own… so stop with the rotten tomatoes and pick at what matters… the ideas.  Face those ideas with what is worthy of respect – better ideas.

Which brings me back to the habit.  Habits are coming back.  I think this is just smashingly wonderful.  Congregations with habits are growing at a rather speedy clip while those who gave it up entire are shrinking.  The reasons for this has no causal relationship to the habit. The real antecedent is that congregations that honor obedience and strive for a traditional expression of Catholic spirituality are speaking louder to the hearts of young men and women who are striving to find a way to live out their God given vocation.  The world is full of Gaia worshiping and/or self indulgent/ feminist/ social worker life style opportunities.  The orders that incorporated the 60s and 70s into their communities and tossed out tradition have nothing to offer those seeking something more than what society has to offer.  That liberal mind-set pollutes society at large so deeply — young people looking at realigious life want more.  The habit is a indicator of a community that holds Catholic tradition more important than the whim of what society says is cool.  For young men and women awash in a transitory world that is very powerful.

A couple years ago I went to the funeral of a nun with whom I taught CCD at my local parish.  She was a wonderful old lady who had spent her entire life educating children.  Sr Jane Francis of the Sisters of St Mary Oregon.  If you look you will see a mix of women with habits including veils and others who aren’t.  The funny thing is you can almost group them by age.  The most humorous thing to me is how many of the youngest members have their veils on. 

 Sr Jane Francis wore a veil — she was quite a bit older.  While at her funeral I met one of the young postulates.  It was one of those really weird times where I had the feeling that only one foot was on earth and the other was closer to heaven.  I saw this young woman in a sweater and veil, her face smiling and me hugely pregnant with my belly sticking out having just said good bye to a friend, but not at all sad because I knew she was home at last.   And this young woman and I face to face and I smiled and said “Thank you.”  It took a small instant for her to realize that I was thanking her for her life.  For listening to her vocation.  But I didn’t have to explain anything, because we were in the same “place” and she grinned at me with all the understanding that sisters have for each other and she said “Oh no thank you!” and she touched my huge belly and we both laughed and loved each other and Sr Jane Francis was no doubt smiling at us right there and loving us both.

So I love nuns.  I love that they have a special gift that they give to God — they give the whole world, their whole lives, all their love and faith.  I am a mother, it is my vocation to bring new little lives into the world and educate them so they understand and love God, the faith and the Church.  Nothing makes me happier than to see pictures of young women in their habits giving their lives to God and pictures of smooshy little baby faces just beginning this wonderful adventure we call life.  There is so much hope and so much love in both.   

Blogs I Know

Oh my goodness there are more of us

What can one say when you raid three nights a week (WoW), played D&D since sixth grade (thank you Dad for being such a great DM BTW … not every girl gets to say that) and love science fiction and fantasy? You’re a gamer.  Now toss in the whole Catholic homeschool mom to six and such and it seems sort of incongruous.  It isn’t but it seems that way.  Well I have been delighted to find From The Shattered Drum a fun blog that I have taken a fancy to.    Keith Strohm — Musings of a Catholic SF/Fantasy Writer.  Check him out if you have a second; it’s fun stuff.

Blogs I Know · Simplicity

Modesty in dress


Over at Woman Honor thyself if a nice post called WomaN: Cover Thyself.

 I have talked about modesty here before, but there are two nice quotes that I would like to address today:

Modesty, historically granted women the right to ?withhold themselves? from men who had dishonorable intentions. And yes, using a woman for sex without any form of commitment was viewed as ignoble and sleazy by both men and women. 

 When I was younger I was taught that dressing modestly served not only to honor yourself, but was a kindness for those men around you who were trying to be their better selves.  How difficult it is for a young man to NOT stare at that flesh proudly on display at the pool, the school  and the shopping mall.  No matter how much he might want to respect a girl or know her from the neck up it is tricky when she is exposing so much from the neck down.

There is such a hypocrisy to the modern idea of dressing like a street walker while expecting people (men) to respect you for your skills, talents and intellectual ability.  

Nothing frightens me more then sending my children out into a world where casual sex is more and more the norm.  I shudder when I hear other parents talk about how they want their children (daughters) to go out and experience life, they don’t want them to wait for marriage to have sex, they want them to be out there “experiencing” life (sex) before they settle down.  I actually heard a woman I generally respect say “I would be sad for my daughter if she didn’t get to experience a range of different sexual experiences before she settles down.”

Historically women might have been “withholding” parts of themselves.  But in the wider culture out there it seems like there is no longer considered a general goodness to virginity or chastity.  These are thing reserved to the morally repressive fringe.  Not the “sex-positive” open minded folks out there.  

Modesty may not sell.
But that all depends how much of your soul is up for grabs, now doesn?t it.

Sad but true.  Modesty doesn’t sell… but is it supposed to?  Some things shouldn’t be for sale.   Physical appearance is a veneer to the soul.  The quality of the core can not be ascertained from inspecting just the outer layer.  But modesty has within it a dignity.  A care of self and concern for others. 

Blogs I Know · Caritas

So sad and so much love.

 The anchoress shares one of those heart-wrenching stories of infant loss.

Personal sharing time. It seems like most the women I know are expecting right now. (Something in the water at Holy Rosary) a good number of them are older than me or have more children than me. I am seriously envious, yet I am seriously afraid to have another baby. I worried so much with Sarah that something would be wrong with her… yet here she is so perfect and healthy. I am sitting in stunned admiration of those who live and love and love life so much for such a short amount of time.

Blogs I Know · Caritas

there is no vocation crisis

 “… there is no vocation crisis, it is a crisis in response. Challenge the young men of your parish to respond, because they want and need the challenge.”

Father Kyle at “Called by Name” give us this gem. It is so true. “you’d make a great priest” spoken by a random parishioner to a young man can be just the thing he needs to hold onto to see what is possible. Don’t forget to encourage your young men, the boys in your parish, to think about the priesthood.

 

 

Blogs I Know

Once upon a time this Catholic girl was LDS

I spent eight years in the Mormon(LDS) church. My first husband was LDS and just about the first thing I did when that marriage fell apart was leave the LDS church. A couple years later I finally convinced the local Ward that I was not interested in coming back, had no intention of coming back and that they seriously needed to leave me and my children alone. The threat of legal action was what seemed to do the trick.

When I was LDS I really, really wanted to believe it. I wanted that “burning in the bosom” that is “promise” if you are just sincere enough. And after leaving the Mormon church I found I was really very angry at the institution. I felt betrayed. Rightly so I think. There is something very evil about telling people that if they are sincere enough that they will feel the truth of something. The bright eyed young missionaries, the people in Fast and Testimony meeting, your friends… you want what it appears that they have and so you pray for more sincerity and a testimony and you latch onto the smallest little part and cave. You find yourself “bearing your testimony.” You feel like a hypocrite because you know you have overstated your belief, when you tell this to your Bishop you are told “That’s OK, baring your testimony helps it grow.” then comes the weird suspicion… maybe most of those testimonies have been over stated. Maybe some people want to believe so badly that they convince themselves that they do.

And finally something happens and you leave. Then you look back with some regret and then the anger sets in. It is so bitter to hear over and over again that your lack of faith was something having to do with you. A fault in you. A shortcoming in YOU. Not that the whole idea from beginning to end was hog-wash. Not that the Book of Mormon is a fraud and not a really convincing one at that. No… it was supposed to be you? So the anger is justified and very very common.

This week I happened upon another ex-mormon Catholic’s blog, mormon2catholic.  It is so interesting to see someone in the same place I have been. With so many of the same experiences. Even some of the same comments coming to her. Mormon double think never fails to amaze me and the comments she has received are like echoes for me from five years ago..

 

Blogs I Know

How Did I Get There Again?

There is one thing I find over and over again while reading Catholic Homemaking, Catholic Homeschooling and Catholic women’s blogs You are always only three clicks away from some seriously out there sola scriptura site or protestant woman’s site or group.. I do not mean that someone is linking to “Oh my goodness this is out there” either. What I mean is one lady will blogroll a site who will link something like “Ladies Against Feminism” or “Joyce Meyer”.

I have noticed that sites dedicated to liturgy, politics, apologetics and the like do not suffer from this problem nearly as much. I tend to think this might be because there is a wider range of Catholic voices on these topics and there is a rather narrow range of Catholic voices that are homeschooling, stay-at-home, Catholic moms. We tend to draw on non-Catholic reasourses more because of this. I suppose it is a form of plunder. Going in reading what isn’t objectionable, and putting to use that which is good hoping to leave the rest behind. But it does lead to some interesting time wasting in the afternoon when you end up at a site that is advocating that girls not spend too much time in acquiring an education because… well you know the BIBLE doesn’t have any good verses about women being programmers, historians, or graphic developers… no the Bible only lists midwifery and household servants as good jobs for woman. I wonder why men aren’t held to the same “Biblical” standard….. but I digress.  Honestly a reader is more likely to browse into a completely secular site, but those bother me less somehow. So my promise to you, Dear Reader, any time I link to a site that is not Catholic I will do my best to forewarn you.