April 8, 2016 § Leave a comment
I managed to hurt myself. Random back spasm has turned into four whole days of barely being able to move.
February 11, 2016 § Leave a comment
A friend once asked me why I “do Lent” when it isn’t in the Bible. Sailing right by the fact that there are many things that Christians do that really aren’t in the Bible, a bunch of things we don’t do that are in the Bible and Catholics don’t really hold to the idea that the Bible spells out all we need to do. (Note that Christ specifically commissions Peter to build his Church, but there is no where in the Bible where he mentions collecting the letters of his followers and using this scripture in addition to the Old Testament scriptures that He himself had) But the question about Lent still left me scratching my head. This friend celebrated Christmas and Easter as “Bible based” but missed that Jesus is often described as drawing away for a time for prayer and specifically in Mathew 4:1-11 his journey into the desert for 40 days is described. I am pretty sure if you are following the Magi and giving gifts on Christmas and marking that Biblical you will have a hard time chiding me as non-biblical for making small sacrifices in immitation of Jesus’ great fast.
As Catholics much of what we do is the living action of liturgy to keep us ever immersed in liturgy. Most of us aren’t going to drop everything and follow Christ into the desert like the Desert Fathers and Desert Mothers or take on the rigorous Asceticism of some of out Saints, but we can follow them in small ways within our own gardens.
So Lent brings us to our own desert. This year for me I am starting out rather badly as I have spent the last day and a half in bed and my car is in the shop. As a family we have given up TV and the children were remarkably on board with that. We are doing our 40 bags.
February 10, 2016 § Leave a comment
40 bags in 40 days is a very simple concept. There is no right or wrong way to do it. How ever it works for you is the way it works, but there are always some questions that are asked.
History and Scope:
How did this get started? You can read the original post from 2008 here.
Is there an “Original” or “Official” group/site/page? — The short answer is no. This is the ‘original’ as in I did this for myself and came up with the idea. Father Kyle Schnipple first suggested it as a Lenten Penance. Dozens if not hundreds of groups and blogs have picked it up since then.
How many people do this? I have no clue. If you Google “40 bags in 40 days” you get something like 40,000 results.
How the Challenge Works:
The original concept is easy. Pick a size of bag, fill it up with stuff and get rid of it.
What size bag should I pick? That depends. If you have a big house and/or a big family and lots of stuff then go big. On the other hand if you are fastidious about clutter, always shop wisely, have a small house and small family then a small bag might be a challenge. If you have never done the challenge before start with the standard tall kitchen bag. If you struggle to fill it then one of two things is happening – you are using too big a bag or you should prayerfully consider letting more things go.
Is it ok to do 6 bags on each Saturday? There is something to be said for the steady discipline of letting a bit go each day. It usually doesn’t take more than about 30 minutes to fill a bag. But do what works for you.
Can I gather bags ahead of Lent and count them? Sure. The goal is to let a little go each day, but if you know you are going to be missing a few days and really want to do all 40 bags… go ahead. There really isn’t a right or wrong way.
Do bags of trash/junk/paper count? Yes. You have this stuff in your house and it is stealing your space, your time and your sanity. Of course it counts to let it go.
How do you manage the bags? I take them straight to the car then drop them off as I do other errands. I don’t leave that bags in the house as they might start to become unbagged.
How do I let go of ____?:
By far the most common questions are questions on how to let go of certain things. For some of these I either have or will be putting up articles this Lent, but here is the brief answers
How do I let go of sentimental things? The love is in your heart not the item. Take a picture or it. Write about it. Give it to someone you know will love it. Having some sentimental things is fine, good even. But not everything item can be imbued with sentimentality.
Should I let go of baby stuff, maternity clothes or things I hope to fit in again? Yes, with wisdom. If you have not used something in 5 years it should go. If you get pregnant, loose weight or have a baby trust God to provide for you needs in the moment. In the meantime be the means by which God can bless others who needs those things now.
How do I let go of stuff people I love got for me? It is hard. But again the love is in our hearts not the thing. Keeping something you don’t like because if feel obligated because it belonged to someone who loved you is something that most of us fall into. The love doesn’t go away just because the object does.
I have had this so long how can I let it go? Because you don’t love it and use it. Most things don’t improve with age.
Craft supplies, homeschooling, books and hobby stuff? These can be hard because we have every intention of doing something wonderful with the stuff. But having stuff without a solid plan can be problematic. (and yes I am looking at those bins of fabric scrapes) Keep a limited amount of stuff that doesn’t have a plan. Even if you have a plan for something don’t keep it more than 5 years.
Kid’s things: Involve your children in letting things go. Don’t undermine their natural generosity. They really will be happier with less.
Sacramentals and religious items. There are special rules for items that have been blessed.
February 9, 2016 § Leave a comment
February 8, 2016 § Leave a comment
The last time I wrote about my clothing check list system was back in 2008. I think at this point we can call it the “Time-Proven, Well-Worn, Updated and Revised Clothing Checklist” but looking at it that seems sort of ungainly so let’s just stick with “The Clothing Checklist”
The original list was created in response to the fact that I had managed to accumulate way too many clothes for every single person in my household. We went well beyond the Proverbs 31:21 “She is not concerned for her household when it snows — all her charges are doubly clothed.” and were over-clothed by – a bunch. Drawers and closets yawned with too many options and too much stuff. The children’s rooms could be carpeted in clothing (and most times appeared to be), the laundry was never under control.
Once I put together the list I was able to cut back our clothing to a manageable amount. As long as we pull the list out a few times and cull. Friends hand you stuff, grandparents send gifts the inflow doesn’t stop. Clothing also dies: it is torn, stained, outgrown. So once you have cut down to the list, and gotten rid of the dead items there are gaps especially with boys and jeans and knees with holes. The list helps with all of that by setting limits and creating an automatic checklist.
Limits are especially helpful when working with your children. Yes, they may love all 10 pairs of pajamas that they own, but really the list says two – so pick.
The original post explains about using the list and how to determine the amount of any item you might need.
February 5, 2016 § Leave a comment
February 5, 2016 § Leave a comment
If you would like to learn more about the 40 bag challenge for Lent please read this post.
Last night I gave a talk about the 40 bag challenge and simplicity to our home school group.
My talk tonight isn’t about organizing or time management and this isn’t about money or home schooling or catholic life or family, but it sort of fits a little bit into all of those areas.
Confession time: I am by nature a disorganized disaster. I have my places of super organization, In school my notebooks were amazing neat, so was my locker and music, but my room looked like a bomb went off in it most the time. As an adult this trend continued. At work my code and documentation was obsessively organized but I would misplace my car keys at home, be notorious for procrastination everything and lived in a cavern of mostly done projects, way too many books, aspiration-ally purchased cleaning supplies and more cloths then I could wear in a month. My children added whole new outlets for the chaos.
Over the years I tried every organization system I find of with varying degrees of success ranging from “giving up before I even start because this is way to complicated” (Sidetracked Home Executives) to “this worked for about a week and then something happened” (Organizing from the Inside Out) to “Oh my goodness you have drowned me emails about how great I am until I want to choke on sappy goodness – I quit” (FlyLady — but that thing about not being able to organize clutter was cool and we will come back to it.) All of these systems are supposed to help, have helped thousands of people and I was able to take something away from all of but being that I am stubborn and such Nothing really clicked until I had Joshua.
While I was in the hospital for Joshua’s birth my in-laws came and stayed at our house. Which was kind of traumatic for me because of the whole people in my house and the oven wasn’t working right and I was having a baby thing. And while they were staying with us my mother in law was super helpful and she did about 30 loads of laundry in 3 days. After I had mostly recovered from that whole “just had a baby thing” she told me in the point-blank way that only she could that I would never be able to keep up with the laundry because we just had too many clothes. “Well duh, I have 4 kids and a new born “ NOPE. She had raised 7 kids and the problem was not the number of people, it was the amount of clothing per person.
I had to admit the only part of the whole laundry thing that was working was the school uniforms. Both the children in the parish school had three bottom and three tops. We did laundry for the uniforms on Wednesday and Saturday and it worked perfectly. Everything else was a mess. So I spent way too much time researching boarding school checklists and comp checklists and thinking about laundry schedules and came up with Clothing checklists for the kids. I went in a winnowed down their clothing to “the list” and got rid of about 2/3s of the clothing I had for the children.
This completely transformed the entire laundry issue. But I still wasn’t quite insightful enough to apply this to anything else. But the reality was I just had way too much stuff. And I am not alone in this Statistically we are a society drowning in stuff.
Some examples : British research found that the average 10-year-old owns 238 toys but plays with just 12 daily
There are 300,000 items in the average American home and the size of the average American Single family new home has tippled in the past 70 years.
The average American woman owns 30 outfits. In 1930, that figure was nine
Over the course of our lifetime, we will spend a total of 3,680 hours or 153 days searching for misplaced items.The research found we lose up to nine items every day—or 198,743 in a lifetime. Phones, keys, sunglasses, and paperwork top the list
So, here I was in desperate need of something and it took me way to long to realize that what I really really needed was less of everything I had. So back in about 2008 I was reading on Elizabeth Foss’s blog about how she had done a major clean out and posted a picture of an empty box of trash bags and I thought, If I just did one bag a day how much clutter and stuff could I get rid of. So I tried it for 40 days, 8 weeks for five days a week. And it was liberating and all that Simplicity that I wanted so desperately to get into my life started feeling possible. The next year a priest I knew talked to me about doing the 40 bags thing during lent. And we did and that was great. And then life hit like a hammer, and my grandmother’s health started failing. I had a baby and got totally side tracked from what I had been working toward. But then the storm passed as storms as storms always do and I started working toward simplicity once again.
When I talk about Simplicity I don’t really mean in the Simple Living concept which is inherited from the Shaker and Amish traditions of Simple/ plain living. Nor am I advocating that modern “zen” minimalism which is both a design concept and a living concept that advocates working toward an absolute minimum of what is necessary, but a middle ground that is Removed from the goals and values of American consumerism but not toward the extremes of selling everything and homesteading in Upstate Wisconsin in a refurbished school bus on one end or getting rid of everything but 100 possessions on the other. But a simplicity that is rooted in Christian tradition and is Authentically Catholic. As Pope Francis had put it “Less is more. A constant flood of new consumer goods can baffle the heart and prevent us from cherishing each thing and each moment.”
For me anything that isn’t gradual and sensible is not sustainable. So purging a bag a day – is to much for the long term. But with the 40 bags in 40 days thing it doesn’t have to be. It is a discipline for a brief time, a sacrifice and a giving up of things but since it is just for a short season; there is always the “end” coming up so it is doable.
After I wrote about this it sort of took on a life of its own and I have seen it pop-up all over the place. So you will have to forgive me if you have heard about it before, but here is the basic concept. 40 bags of stuff in 40 days – gone. (or 37 if you stop at Holy Thursday and don’t do any Sundays) The basic thing is to pick a bag (Shopping bag, paper bag, trash bag or Big Black bag) and then fill up one bag a day one day at a time. Then either get rid of it or donate it. I have also counted “equivalents” like a computer system or a box of books or a piece of furniture counting as a bag. Usually the bulkyness or the hassle they add just getting them gone adds to the the sense of having done something worth while that day.
For some reason this really resonates with some people. They totally love it and find it a wonderful process and other just hate to pieces.
I have seen some people declare that they don’t have enough stuff to get rid of even a small bag each day. Which is wonderful — I wish I could be that person. I have seen others who really wanted to it but were so overwhelmed by their own situation that they felt they couldn’t because they were in too deep and needed serious help. I have also seen people decide that this isn’t a good Lenten exercise as they don’t feel it is spiritual enough. (as opposed to giving up soda or TV – I guess, or maybe they would think those weren’t very spiritual either..)
All kidding aside I think that is a perfectly valid thing to say in as far as it may not be what the Holy Spirit calls them to at that moment. But one really can’t claim that getting rid of material possessions is an act devoid of a spiritual dimension. There are multiple Biblical examples of Christ calling those who would follow him to freely give away their possessions or telling them not be concerned with their material needs and there are many, many examples of the Saints doing just that.
The obvious Biblical example is the rich young man.
Jesus, looking at him, loved him and said to him, “You are lacking in one thing. Go, sell what you have, and give to [the] poor and you will have treasure in heaven; then come, follow me.” At that statement his face fell, and he went away sad, for he had many possessions. Jesus looked around and said to his disciples, “How hard it is for those who have wealth to enter the kingdom of God!”
As Americans we are all wealthy.
Thankfully there is a long Christian tradition for dealing with the fact that we tend to covet and keep more material possessions then are spiritually good for us. Getting rid of 40 bags of stuff over 40 days in Lent may not resonate with you, it may not be what God is calling you to do, and it could be that someone could do it and get nothing from it (which could be said of almost anything one gives up for Lent) but for those who are called to do it and are mindful of the reasons for it the letting go of stuff is a very spiritually enhancing discipline.
First World Problems:
We live in a world warped by consumerism. We have a disposable cup culture where the competition to have the new and latest thing takes our natural and good desires to bless those we love with beauty and sets us off into focusing on things that aren’t lasting. Too often this consumerism replaces the bonds of family, community and even faith. The Holy Father has spoken on this very topic saying: “ Today consumerism determines what is important. Consuming relationships, consuming friendships, consuming religions, consuming, consuming… Whatever the cost or consequences. A consumption which does not favor bonding, a consumption which has little to do with human relationships. “
There is an essential fact that when our life is full of stuff there is less room for God, prayer or family. So letting go of things move from being a good but neutral act to and act of significance.
In the process of forcing ourselves to let go of these extra things we occasionally find that something is hard to let go of, in this moment we are learning where we cling to things not of God, where we fail to trust God and where use possessions to insulate ourselves from the world we are called to engage.