The Simple Woman’s Daybook
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Thank you Peggy.

FOR TODAY : April 6, 2008

Today is a beautiful spring day.  The sky is  blue, the air is warm,  flowers are blooming everywhere. And this is probably the most depressing Daybook I have ever written.  I promise I am usually not so morose.

Outside my Window – The plum tree has exploded in fluffy, white blooms. Ashley mowed the lawn this weekend so the yard is starting to look like “summer”.    I am looking forward to dinners outside and lazy lunches – the children call them picnics – where I make up some sandwiches and fruit and send them outside to “have a picnic”.

I am thinking – About  Holy Week.  There is a beautiful  juxtaposition between the beauty of spring and new life coming from death and the cross.  Winter gives way to spring.  Nature reflects the realities of liturgical calendar.

There is an extra sadness right now.  Last week’s miscarriage still seems unreal and yet it is very heavy on my heart.  Christopher isn’t feeling well which gives me an excuse to hide out today.   I have flowers to plant and things to do and I want to be happy, but I feel rather numb.   Everything feels very unreal not just the loss of the baby, but the whole world, like nothing I do matters, like I am reading a book or watching a movie and I am not really part of it.

From the learning rooms – Last week was a total wash.  So last weeks plans become this weeks plans.

I am thankful for- The absolutely wonderful support from friends and family.  Monday I left from CCD for the ultrasound and met Kyle there.  When we learned the bad news I went home and he went back to the parish.  Several people offered to bring the children home so Kyle could come back and be with me.   On Wednesday I was bleeding very heavily and had to go into my doctor’s office.  My father came over to watch the children.  My mother joined him when school was out, they got us dinner.  Kyle’s work has been very accommodating and everyone has had kind words and prayers for our family.  For all this I am very thankful.

From the kitchen – Tonight we are doing easy salad and bread sticks.

I am reading – I have the next Honor Harrington book on my nightstand, I still need to start it.  I picked up my Jane Austin and am almost done with S&S.  Lord only knows how many times I have read it, but I was in the mood for it.   Elinor is like a reflection of my own mind.  Set in a different society, but still so much the same.  My own mother has a tendency to be very emotional and doesn’t understand or even appericate my more resevered way of dealing with the world.  But to my mother’s credit she has been very kind this week, without inflicting that overindulence of sentiment on me that drives me so batty.

I am hoping – There is very little that I am hoping right now.  I want to hope, but I am afraid that my hopes will be thwarted and that I won’t ever hear what I want to hear.  Sometimes hoping can be a painful thing.

I am creating – Hannah’s first communion dress.  This is the big project for the next week or so.

I am hearing – The children in the backyard.  Hannah is singing and planning some “spring play”.  Sarah is digging and Josh is a “ranger”.  They are happy children.

Around the house –Considering what a wash last week was this week has to be a bit of catch-up.

One of my favorite things – My new bike.  I am so happy to finally have a new bike.

A Few Plans For The Rest Of The Week – I want to catch up on everything I am behind on.  I am not sure that is realistic, but I can at least start on it.